“I want to live the rest of my life, however long or short, with as much sweetness as I can decently manage, loving all the people I love, and doing as much as I can of the work I still have to do.” Audre Lorde
So…today is the day that I turn 40 years old. I really can’t believe it. Pain mingles with my joy as I think of the amount of times life or myself tried to kill me. I cry often when I think of Lucille Clifton’s words “that every day something has tried to kill me…and has failed.” It’s true. I didn’t think I would make it here but I am so proud of the life that I am living, the love that I have cultivated, the people who surround me with lovingkindness…
“I am black, alive, and looking back at you.” June Jordan
And so…I don’t have much to say. The above quote by Audre Lorde sticks with me. She was in the midst of a battle with cancer and her desire to turn towards love and sweetness is so resonant for me. Though I am pursuing scholarly life, the academy doesn’t define me. It isn’t who I am in the slightest. A man who was once trapped in chaos, a boy who was so nervous about the world, a young man who failed every oral book report because of stuttering…has now become a man. I am proud of each version of myself, including the messy ones. They all have had a hand in shaping me.
So…I think I will sit here and read books all day. Drink my coffee. Watch some good fantasy. Go for a bike ride. Love to you all. Feel free to buy me a coffee if it suits you :)
Happy birthday, friend!! 🎉💛
We share a birthday! I knew there was a reason your writing resonated with me. Happiest of days to you; may your journey continue to grow in grace and beauty.