*Good morning and a happy new year to you gentle people. I think I am back writing on here as I’ve taken some down time to rest, reflect, and to bathe myself in the inspiring work of others. I don’t know how 2023 landed for you, but regardless of if it was stressful, or joyful, I hope that these early days are graceful with you.*
I originally was going to title this post “running into a new year” because of the hope that I started to feel forming as I sat in prayer over the past few days. But, I realize, that at least for myself…I’m not running at all. Chile, I turn 40 in 11 days. I am slowly unfolding into this new year. Much in the same way that the monstera plant that sits in my living room is slowly unfolding and growing. I admire the ways that people engage the start of the calendar year. Some ignore resolutions, some set lofty goals, others set intentions. Regardless of where you fall on this spectrum, I would gently offer to you that time is indeed a construct. And if it is indeed a construct, you don’t have to think in purely binary ways. I personally renew myself at the end of the year, making intentions and resolutions that aren’t based upon my effort alone. Overall, I want to be a man in love with himself, God, and others. Any goal I have is towards that end. And…I start again in February as I immerse myself in Black authors, writers, theologians, and creatives. It is almost like a baptism. And then, in Spring…I reevaluate where I am as the cold winter months give way to new blooming life.
“A new day. A new year. And I am running into it with my eyes open and my heart tender…God I am open to being loved this new year. I am open to all of the ways You want to nurture me. All of the love that my life can hold…” Robert Monson (a piece of my journal entry)
I am a shy person, in some ways guarded…introverted also. In my earlier years I gave myself to loving others at the expense of myself. I thought that if I could love people well that somehow I was worth befriending. Somehow if I gave enough…I could stop this emptiness within. That led…nowhere of course. You can’t make people love you or see you. And after that I vowed to have “no new friends.” No new people to spoil my life. Of course that didn’t work, and in these years I’ve been praying a prayer that I would be open to all of the ways that love would find me. Yes, I’m getting older. Yes, it is hard to trust or build things from the ground up. However, I want to find beauty in unexpected, hidden places. This year I am open to loving and being loved. In ways that truly matter.
“I want to live the rest of my life, however long or short, with as much sweetness as I can decently manage, loving all the people I love, and doing as much as I can of the work I still have to do.” Audre Lorde
**What ways are you engaging the start of this year?**
***Also…my brother
has a book coming out that I would love for you to preorder.
I love sitting here, sipping my coffee, and reading your words.
I am not one for resolutions, but I am committing to, in the words of Trey Ferguson, "Theologizin' Bigger."
I just finished reading the advance copy of his book, and it was an answer to prayer for me. I am about to start reading Camille Hernandez's book, The Hero and the Whore. I want to immerse myself in writing by folks who come from different traditions and cultures. I want to carry the lessons learned with me and to be a better person, committed to the wholeness of others.
Those are some beautiful rhythms for the first few months of the year!