come lay your eyes on us

a restful musing

Photo by Leonardo Yip on Unsplash

Come lay eyes on me

come lay your eyes on me

when the texts stop

and i’m “acting funny”

come lay your beautiful eyes on me

because sometimes the strong friend

isn’t always strong

isn’t invulnerable

please.

come lay your tender eyes on me.

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I love writing. I love creating. I love making art that speaks to people and that makes them feel less alone. On Substack, I admire great folks like

Jor-El Caraballo

or

Sharifa

who can write such elite sentences that make me come home to myself. That make me sensitive towards myself and others. I love the way

Noha Beshir

is consistent at saying the hard things and

NJ Fiction

will never let you put her into a box.

Rachel Leeke Alexis

with the imagery. Whew. Every single person has their place. In creating musings in the way that I do, I open myself to be more of a curator than a traditional writer. I try to bring to light strands of thought, images, music that helps people to be more mindful of themselves. I hope that my work makes people feel less alone. So, for today’s curation I want to bring 3 social media snapshots that have reminded me of the power of being perceived, known, and loved in a specific way.

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Being online can be good for something I suppose. I came across this video while scrolling through social media. This scene is powerful to me because this mother is tasked with trying to find her child while blindfolded. The depth of emotion from the son as his mom knows who is brought me to tears. He collapses into his mother’s arms and the relief is palpable, at least to me. There is something powerful about being known isn’t there? Something deeply intimate about someone recognizing your laugh or the sound of your voice. Her touch seemingly reminded him that he comes from somewhere/someone…and that imagery heals something inside of me.

I shared this video in a post many months ago, but I’m bringing it back because it is necessary for our dialogue today. Affirming words sooth something inside. They have the power to anchor someone to reality even when chaos and scorn is louder. I wish we described our loved ones like this more often. To their faces and behind their backs. Sometimes I feel selfish because of the deep desire I have to hear words of affirmation. It seems to be “too much” to desire affirmation when the world is burning. Where there is constant need. Whether it is too much I cannot say. All I know is that I am filled up every time someone takes time to affirm who I am.

Minor related story: Recently, I was at the gym and as I was leaving I said to the regular desk attendant “You know, you are such a good man.” Time seemed to stop and his face became skeptical. “Why do you say that?” he asked. I told him that there wasn’t one specific thing, but that over the months of interacting with him, seeing him help others, I perceived him as a good man. As I explained, his whole demeanor change and I could see a childlikeness come over him. I think he needed to hear that.

Today’s post came from weeks of reflecting on powerful images online. Sweet ones. Most importantly, I came across a video that was of a group of friends who came to see a friend who was going through a mental health crisis. Instead of judging her or waiting for her to tell them what was up, they came to her house to “lay eyes on her.” I have loved that phrase my whole life because growing up Black, there was/is something beautiful about the care that happens when we go “lay eyes” on the people that we love. When we don’t assume how they are faring, but instead lean into curiosity. Anyways, her friends embrace her and she begins to sob. The pain that she releases into their arms made me weep. I know that kind of pain that goes beyond words. I’ve since watched that video so many times. At some times angry about all of the times that I wished that I had people to do that for me. And at many other times, determined to love all of the people in my life this way. I don’t know that I can, but I’m determined to try. I hope this post sits with you and encourages you.

*Thank you for reading this post. Thank you for all of the love also on last Sunday’s post about my grandmother’s fried chicken. If my work has blessed you, please consider sharing it, buying me a coffee, or becoming a paid member :)