Dominating Beauty

a restful musing

Photo by Anchor Lee on Unsplash

Scrolling through news headlines and:

A man from Washington went to Hawaii and proceeded to terrorize local wildlife.

Or. A man threw a rock at a monk seal.

Whatever way you want to capture this moment in time, at the very least…it’s disgusting. I sighed audibly as I read through the reporting of this incident in which a man, seemingly for fun, throws a rock at a seal. The sheer arrogance of this man is nauseating to me. Hubris. Yuck. With all of the horrific headlines that course through the national media, I wondered to myself why this particular incident caused me grief. It’s not surprising. Humanity loves to terrorize. It loves to dominate. whispers especially male humanity. I wonder, foolishly, why someone would travel all the way to Hawaii and disturb animals in their natural element.¹ What is it about beauty that beckons so many to take, to obtain…to dominate? The signposts of our dominance are written all over the world in subtle and obvious ways.

What is our relationship to beauty?

What is our relationship to those things/places/people that are beautiful? These questions ground me today as I think about this world and our place in it. These questions haunt me.

I am a beautiful soul. I really am. Of course that doesn’t mean that I have always acted beautifully, but as I sit here today I know that the core of who I am is lovely. It always has been. The world taught me how to be ugly to survive. To get some respect. To “get ahead in the workplace.” Academia ABSOLUTELY has taught me that beauty doesn’t get ahead when it comes to prominence, numbers, etc. (Don’t argue with me. Phew.) I consider how often my beauty has been co-opted. How people have tried to twist it to please themselves without any consideration for what would allow me to continue to blossom. I meet people weekly who want to use me to 1. help them sell their books 2. be a part of their fantasy world 3. be the advice-giver 4. massage their ego 5. use my unique gift mix to finish a work task that is beyond my pay/scope 6. be the magical negro figure that gives their conference the appearance of diversity. 7. be the father/son/lover/friend that they never had.

It’s easier for folks to dominate beauty as opposed to gently walk alongside it. To nurture it. To appreciate it the same way that I lovingly gaze at my houseplants. Beauty isn’t a thing to be conquered. A thing to be snatched up. At least it shouldn’t be. When we bring the force of our will/expectations down upon beautiful things, we break them. We flatten them. Look at our world. Look at our relationships. Look at who we’ve been and consider that…this doesn’t have to be who we always will be. I’m a lover of beautiful things and I want to offer that gift for us all to cultivate. A prayer that I pray regularly is “Help me to see beauty in unexpected places.” This prayer is a steady thrum in my chest and I often find myself mouthing it unknowingly. Perhaps it is just a placebo, but I often stop and find myself in tears over the smallest things. On walks I notice a new leaf on a tree that wasn’t there a week ago. I see a father walking with his son. I see lovers hand in hand shuffling down the street. The other day I saw a woman…on a walk…with her pet butterflies. (Lol. There was a lot going on.) I want to be shaped by my capacity to perceive beauty and I wish that I lived in a world that had that same earnest desire. I cultivate this capacity by sitting for long hours staring at beautiful images, reading poetry, listening to music, considering my loved ones…This is a big world and I naively believe that there is no reason for us to dominate one another to live peacefully within it. Love to you all today.

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1. I say foolishly because I am a student of history. I say foolishly because I know the dominance that has been forced upon Hawaii. A few Google searches and reading a few books reads like a horror movie.