*Good morning y’all and happy Sunday. Despite it being Daylight Savings, I love Sundays. It stands at a crossroads as one week ends and a new week is beginning to unfold. I slow down on Sundays long enough to catch my breath. There are quite a bit of you who are new and I’m happy you’re here. One thing about me you must know is that I write for the little Black boy inside me who never got to express himself. Too shy and too…well that is a story for a different day.*
Don’t I deserve to be happy?
This question floated to the top of my spirit yesterday while I was sitting in the sunlight and drinking my tea. Questions like this are typical for me to ponder when I disconnect from being busy. I’m aware of how many don’t get happiness in this life. They toil and they fix and they scrape by. I have no answers for this and wouldn’t dare to try. All I truly know is my own story. How often happiness has eluded me. I took slow and deliberate inventory of my life. Yes there are pain points. Undeniable ones. And. There are some things that are so beautiful that I find tears welling up in my eyes often. (I wish you all could smell the candle that is burning beside me as I write. It is heavenly.)
My life is so simple. I read my Bible. I pray. I call friends and giggle over silly things. I run in the most beautiful places. I get wonderful books in the mail from friends. New authors ask me to support their books. (me…the nerdy Black kid who could never afford books growing up.) I live in a modest one bedroom apartment that has creaky pipes that talk to you. My Friday nights are *wild* and consist of chicken wings and singing on my couch alone. But…I’m happy.
I grew up rationing my happiness. Convinced that something good couldn’t last. That each smile I dared to issue would be followed by immense heartbreak. And to be quite honest, that has been true. My life has scarred me in ways that I will never be able to express. And. I’m not rationing my happiness anymore. My desires aren’t evil. It has taken all of these years to finally realize that
Pleasure isn’t my enemy.
*I believe that you deserve to be happy too. Bless ya’ll.*
Abundant blessings to you….and may your cup run over with great coffee, and good books 📚 find you feeding your soul forever in true bliss. You deserve happiness. I appreciate you!
I love the full circle moment of can't afford books to people sending you free ones, whether it's because they love you or because they respect your opinion and want your endorsement (or both). (Also: I look forward to that story for a different day...)