“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
―Brené Brown
Connection and intimacy are popular topics in our world today; particularly so as people regularly note the damaging effects of the pseudo relationships that are formed via social media. Although our world is smaller than ever because of the vast reaches of the internet, people still feel lonely and unheard. A casual glance through social media shows the ease that people feel to leave disparaging remarks on the platforms of people that they don’t even know. Because of the disconnect that is prominent in our world, it appears to me that drifting away from loving, intimate, bonds is perfectly normal. People fall in love and out of love in a flash.
“Lord don’t let my heart grow cold.”
I’ve been praying that prayer for two decades because I know my propensity to drift towards callousness and jealousy. This isn’t just a human problem *out there* but it is one that impacts me daily. The truth is that fostering connection with other human beings in a sustained way requires a level of faith and vulnerability that I am increasingly not comfortable with. Old wounds have become infected and sore (This word choice is…interesting as I recover from two recent surgeries. Phew) from disappointments, lack of support, and the drift that happens when someone stops choosing you. And…I hate that. I truly understand why people tend to get selective as they get older. Those that hide under the seemingly mature banner of “no new friends.” Or. “I only need a few friends.” Perhaps those stances are helpful. Perhaps they are keeping me (us) from experiencing soul-nourishing relationships.
And so. I continue to read bell hooks and her work on love knowing how deficient I am in that arena. She extensively wrote often about the power of love in all of its forms. I have been most touched with the emphasis she places on loving and being loved by our friends. Deeply. Rather than focus solely on love contained within marital or romantic partnerships, she expands the borders of what is possible when we open ourselves. I open myself to beautiful possibilities that can end in more heartache. I know it is not good for me to be alone and that sustained connection with others can be a balm. I shakily move towards others like
and many others in my quest to make life meaningful. Perhaps I have not met all of the people who will love me in this life. Perhaps.*Thank you for reading! Also, I want to take the time to thank everyone who has supported me through being paid subscribers and/or bought me a coffee.
What I am reading:
National Poetry Month:
As this month comes to a close, what poets are you enjoying?
Something to make you feel good:
I love this. The value of friendship is real, and so many of us are craving it in adulthood for a hundred different reasons.
Learn in and on brother, we are here to hold you ❤️