My friend Trey came to visit me. Over the past few months different loved ones have made it a point to show me their love by traveling across the country to stay in my little apartment and it has meant the world to me. Hours have been spent staying up late (too late…i’m old and usually go to bed at a cool 8:30pm but I digress), giggling, going to hockey games, reading side by side, drinking coffee, crying, and…reflecting. On the first night of Trey’s particular visit, listening to him share about his life and speak words of comfort into mine…I felt my shoulders relax. I felt safe in the presence of a brother. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to articulate what a balm his visit, and the visit of so many others, has been to me.
“how many friends do you have?”
As my colleagues have witnessed so many friends trickle into town to visit me they have chuckled and asked me about how many friends can someone possibly have. The truth is I don’t know. How could a shy, nerdy, and lonely introvert like me be surrounded by people? I am not perfect. Neither do I have some magic formula that I want to give to you. It has taken my whole life to cultivate community in the ways that I am experiencing now. I think of a phrase a friend used to tell me two decades ago. “I love you on purpose bro.” That has been foundational in growing as a man and as someone who loves God. Knowing that someone was choosing to love me on purpose slowly softened my hardened heart.
I leave you with a prayer that Tabitha Brown uttered years ago. When I heard it I cried my eyes out. I desperately wanted to be loved like that. And so…I pray it for myself and my loved ones often. My desire is that you will be loved like this. I pray that you would find those who would love you when you need compassion and kindness. And if you have that already???? Hold on to it. Bless ya’ll.
“I pray that love finds you…true love. I pray it finds you and it holds you tight. I pray that someone will love you enough to see you. To see you when you are not well. To see you when you need true support. To see you when you need compassion. To seek you when you need kindness…I pray that type of love finds you.” Tabitha Brown
Seeing Black men love each other makes me so happy. But you two specifically light candles of hope for me with your bond. 🖤
Love you to life, bro