Running on a Cloud
When did I start running? Maybe a better question is why did I start running? The answer to both of those questions will probably lead you to a comical scene as you see me failing the mile test over and over again in school growing up. Despite what people presume when they look at me now, I did not grow up as an athlete…by any stretch of the imagination. Time and time again I proved that I was too weak. Too out of shape. Not resilient. My body simply could not perform in any sporting exercise…particularly running. Every year I dreaded the day that we would all line up and get ready to run the mile. I would always fail and walk miserably back into the gym.
I don’t know when my relationship to running changed precisely but I am so thankful it did. These days it is easy to see how my life revolves around the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other. I crave it…I need it.
Please don’t imagine me sprinting through the streets of my city, straining every muscle as I claw for every inch of greatness my body can afford me. When I run I often choose beautiful trails, wooded areas where I can disconnect from the worries that seek to threaten my mind and my heart.
When I am running I am free.
When I am running no fear is chasing me.
I run slow on these days. I take in my surroundings and I usually let the music in my headphones carry me away to a trance-like state. In this here place my body and mind cannot be called on to be strong. For these moments I am not named “Resilient.” I am not a strong Black man…I am running on clouds. However foolish this sounds I know that running is a haven for me. While I run I think of future days, chips (lots of chips-I should write on chips one day), things that anger me, poetry, my anxiety…so many thoughts fill my head…and the miles roll on.