Writers on Writers-Karen Wesley

Today’s collaboration is with Karen Wesley

I’m so happy to put out another installment of this Writers on Writers series. I hope it is blessing ya’ll as much as it blesses me. Writers, authors, poets, creatives of all kinds intrigue me. How people come up with the things that they create and how they make magic will always fascinate me. I am unapologetically inspired by the conversations that people have had with a series entitled “Actors on Actors”You can find my last installment with

Jor-El Caraballo

below and in general you can find them all if you look for the tag “Writers on Writers”

Now with all of that introduction, let us get into the wisdom of

Karen Wesley

I stumbled upon Karen’s work on Substack some time ago, first through her observations that she would post on various topics. I’ve admired the way that she writes and the truths that she sits with. You can find my questions emboldened and her responses directly beneath.

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What made you first take up the pen? Is there a certain memory you can go back to?

Writing has been my first love since high school. English was my favorite class because expressing myself on the page felt natural, unlike Algebra, or science. I was a features and sports editor on the Yearbook Staff all three years.

In my late twenties after having my son, I picked up the pen to write out of pure loneliness during my stay-at-home mom days, while my son was napping, and my bonus son was at school. I felt my way through writing a novel about the parts of my life that I was missing.

I never pursued publishing the novel. It still sits on a hard drive somewhere. At the time, I was reading everything fiction by black writers like Terry Mc Millian, Bebe Moore Campbell and Benilde Little, just to name a few. Terry McMillan's commercial success was particularly inspiring.

What is different about writing now, today, in these years?

I started a parenting blog about daily life raising two autistic teenage boys in 2009. I painted a picture of our chaotic life. It was like a reality show, except I had creative control of the narrative that became public. Writing was a coping mechanism, and therapy for me. My goal was to create autism awareness and to connect with other moms of special needs children who were feeling the same sense of isolation. From the blog, I created an online support community that became a safe place for my readers to ask for advice, laugh, cry, or just vent, with no judgment.

When my boys became adults, I was tired of "mom" being my entire identity. I started writing more professionally. After I won a writing contest, I became a regular contributor the Writers Circle for University of Texas, Hogg Foundation for Mental Health. From there, I was inspired to start my Substack Newsletter.

Who inspires you? Could be writing wise or in general?

These days I read mostly non-fiction, memoirs, essays, and self-help. I love exploring motivations behind human behavior. I love Glennon Doyle, Nedra Tawab and Alex Elle. Alex is a spiritual mentor for me. Reading her book, "How We Heal" led me to take a course from her and later a weekend retreat with her. It was an incredible experience. She inspired me to design my life to be what I want.

Take us into a bit of your writing process? It’s ok if its scattered…how do you begin?

I journal, and free-write Morning Pages five out of seven days a week to keep my juices flowing . This is usually where ideas begin for Substack Essays. I participate in several writing communities weekly. Writing side-by side on Zoom gives me synergy and keeps me inspired.

I sit down to write first thing in the morning, otherwise I can get sidetracked. I created a beautiful writing space using shades of blue (even my desk is blue). It's in what used to be my dining room. My desk is set up in front of a double floor to ceiling window, over looking my oaktrees and my flower bed. It's a very inviting space.

I feel like, I'm sitting down to create a piece of art each day. I work on the piece over two or three days, adding lines, taking away lines, shifting paragraphs around, until I become cross-eyed. I have a tendency to hyper-focus and forget about time. I put it away overnight. I come back to it first thing the next day, and read it once more with fresh eyes. I put it through grammarly to check for errors and/or I may let my husband read my final edit. He always finds my mistakes (missing words, grammar errors, etc.) I think he gets a kick out of telling me where I'm wrong.

What keeps you writing?

The biggest challenge is working consistently on my memoir. I started working with a Creative Coach and set the goal to write five to six days a week, with a minimum of 15 minutes on the memoir. It usually ends up being more. GG taught me to keep a process journal where I log what I write daily on the project. I also jot down new ideas and write about how I'm feeling about writing. I have ADHD and I still have resistance to larger projects. I lose patience with the process. I get overwhelmed and want to shut down.

In the last year-and a half, I've taken several "Memoir" classes. Now, I have more structure for the process. The resistance is still there, but I constantly fight through it.

Give us a piece that you wrote that you are proud of.

My favorite Substack Essay so far has been, "Sometimes need to remember who tf we are."

Sometimes We Forget Who TF We are

The post is about my writing life, and what keeps me going on the days when I'm feeling discouraged. I lean on my friends and writing communities to help me remember who tf I am.

*Thank you to every writer who has said yes to be featured so far and thank you all for reading, engaging, and following the people that I mention. My hope is that I would be able to build inclusive thoughtful and generative spaces. :)