Robert, it would be an honor to have you as part of the autistic community. For me, this has been the clue I’ve been missing my whole life, as I tried to fill in other explanations of what was going on and why I couldn’t fit into the neurotypical world no matter how smart and creative I was and no matter how hard I tried. Why just making it through the every day tasks and interactions each day felt like running a marathon that I never could get into shape for. And to begin to use that understanding to create a life where my nervous system wasn’t continually battered and strained. I see you, friend.
Also, Robert. I mean this in the most respectful, sisterly way possible: You are one of the most attractive people that I know. Not “unconventionally” just straight up good looking. 😂
So very proud of you for sharing this and thank you for putting it out there. I, too, believe I have undiagnosed ADHD and am diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I also have a physical condition that causes chronic pain during flare ups. Everything you wrote pierced my heart because for so long I was also silent about just how much these things plagued me. It wasn’t until I stopped masking and found my safe spaces and tribe of support that things got better. I hope that as you open up and share, those around you and the community you find embrace and accept all there is to you.
I just came here to say I don’t know what you mean by “unconventional”, because sir, you are cute, dare is say SEXY?! ☺️ It’s the eyes.
I, too, am leaning towards the fact that I might have ADHD. I plan to get an office diagnosis so I can put my mind at ease. Looking back, it makes a ton of sense. I wish my mama was here to help me through this because then she would know that I wasn’t being disrespectful or disobedient whenever she asked me to do something. I was paralyzed at starting something that I wasn’t sure if I could finish it. But somehow I managed to be an honor student and get a master’s degree and all the stuff with it. But deep down inside, I have imposter syndrome with a side of anxiety. Here’s praying we both discover what’s next. I’ll keep you posted if you do the same? ❤️🙏🏾
"I am an excellent student, but I have suffered along the way." I can relate to that on deeply. Being in situations one after the other where you have to constantly show up and work hard is not easy. I love how you were vulnerable about your struggles in this beautifully written piece. You are valued in this world regardless of whether you struggle with ADHD or not. It gives me immense hope knowing that the world has people like you who are a source of comfort in so many people'e lives through their art. Keep creating!🤍
ROBERT it's so good to see you on substack processing this stuff! And a big hearty WELCOME and I'M NOT SURPRISED but I am absolutely THRILLED and it's just another layer of awareness we can use to stop being so unkind to our highly-sensitive brains and bodies.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 50+ years old. Thankful that I now have not an excuse, but an explanation, and a better understanding of why certain things are just "hard". It's easier to give yourself grace when you don't see something as a "failure", or your energy ebbs as "lazy", or your diversions as "distractions" but can reframe them all in terms of the way your wonderfully neuro-diverse mind works. Medication has helped me, though it doesn't work for all. May your path be informative and may you continue to grow in grace.
"I love who I am and the skin I'm in" I feel you strongly on that sir. The world keeps trying to tell us who we should be or what we should look like. I love who I am and the skin I'm in. And I also have symptoms of ADHD and might have it as well. I pray that whatever you discover on this journey encourages you and helps you to keep being who you are in this world.
Robert, thank you for having the courage to share your evolving story. You are not alone in your journey to figure out who you are. As you continue your journey of discovery, may you and your heart continue to find love and acceptance as the person God has made you to be. I believe your story is definitely worth fighting for, maybe not with armor and swords, but certainly with a lot of light and love! How does your heart feel after sharing your journey story? May you find acceptance, joy, love and lightness in the discoveries you make 🙏
Who knew that when holding up someone else’s mirror to my face, I could see so much of myself. Fearful suspicions of myself have strangled me for years. Even now, at times. But. I believe that I’m learning to relax into myself. “Different” has always been there. As I find more pieces of myself I’m relieved to realize that I wouldn’t have it any other way. I simply wouldn’t see the same. I wouldn’t love the same. I wouldn’t know what I know… anyway, thank you for writing this.
As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I just want to say welcome, welcome, welcome! I am so thrilled to hear that you may be part of the neurodivergent community. Learning those things about myself was so transformative and helped me shed a lot of unnecessary burdens; I hope that it's similar for you.
Thank you so much for sharing this, from a fellow possibly autistic/adhd neurodivergent that has felt forced to be high functioning for most of my life. I'm also considering getting a formal diagnosis, maybe once my three kiddos work through their own formal assessments and diagnoses. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability.
Dear Robert, it's 2025 and I am reading your post for the first time. I hope my comment finds you at a place in your journey that is within the zip code of acceptance and understanding of the traits you display that are collectively known as AuDHD.
When I look at your picture I see you as a socially unattractive black male. It's a reality that many people struggle to articulate. I am a socially unattractive black woman. My face offers me few privileges and it does not fuel the engine of capitalism. I accept that reality now. I will not sell magazines or encourage anyone to buy anything in this country. I will always be the before picture. Yet I am made in the image of God and have an unmatched beauty in his eyes. I am adored by Him and have come to understand and accept that beauty as well. I pray the same for you my brother. May you know your beauty.
Your words are a balm and your vulnerability a gift. Thank you ♥️
Robert, it would be an honor to have you as part of the autistic community. For me, this has been the clue I’ve been missing my whole life, as I tried to fill in other explanations of what was going on and why I couldn’t fit into the neurotypical world no matter how smart and creative I was and no matter how hard I tried. Why just making it through the every day tasks and interactions each day felt like running a marathon that I never could get into shape for. And to begin to use that understanding to create a life where my nervous system wasn’t continually battered and strained. I see you, friend.
Also, Robert. I mean this in the most respectful, sisterly way possible: You are one of the most attractive people that I know. Not “unconventionally” just straight up good looking. 😂
Thank your for both comments. I truly appreciate them. It has been and continues to be a journey
An equally sisterly, respectful, AND heartfelt agreement here.
So appreciate this
So very proud of you for sharing this and thank you for putting it out there. I, too, believe I have undiagnosed ADHD and am diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I also have a physical condition that causes chronic pain during flare ups. Everything you wrote pierced my heart because for so long I was also silent about just how much these things plagued me. It wasn’t until I stopped masking and found my safe spaces and tribe of support that things got better. I hope that as you open up and share, those around you and the community you find embrace and accept all there is to you.
Grace to you
that was beautifully written
Love you, bro.
I love you on purpose
I just came here to say I don’t know what you mean by “unconventional”, because sir, you are cute, dare is say SEXY?! ☺️ It’s the eyes.
I, too, am leaning towards the fact that I might have ADHD. I plan to get an office diagnosis so I can put my mind at ease. Looking back, it makes a ton of sense. I wish my mama was here to help me through this because then she would know that I wasn’t being disrespectful or disobedient whenever she asked me to do something. I was paralyzed at starting something that I wasn’t sure if I could finish it. But somehow I managed to be an honor student and get a master’s degree and all the stuff with it. But deep down inside, I have imposter syndrome with a side of anxiety. Here’s praying we both discover what’s next. I’ll keep you posted if you do the same? ❤️🙏🏾
Awe thanks! And I hear so much of what you’re saying. Being perceived as disrespectful or disobedient. The being trapped at starting something etc
"I am an excellent student, but I have suffered along the way." I can relate to that on deeply. Being in situations one after the other where you have to constantly show up and work hard is not easy. I love how you were vulnerable about your struggles in this beautifully written piece. You are valued in this world regardless of whether you struggle with ADHD or not. It gives me immense hope knowing that the world has people like you who are a source of comfort in so many people'e lives through their art. Keep creating!🤍
Just now seeing this. Thank you so much
ROBERT it's so good to see you on substack processing this stuff! And a big hearty WELCOME and I'M NOT SURPRISED but I am absolutely THRILLED and it's just another layer of awareness we can use to stop being so unkind to our highly-sensitive brains and bodies.
Heyyyyy 👋🏾 and yes you’re right. This has been a long winding journey. Phew
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 50+ years old. Thankful that I now have not an excuse, but an explanation, and a better understanding of why certain things are just "hard". It's easier to give yourself grace when you don't see something as a "failure", or your energy ebbs as "lazy", or your diversions as "distractions" but can reframe them all in terms of the way your wonderfully neuro-diverse mind works. Medication has helped me, though it doesn't work for all. May your path be informative and may you continue to grow in grace.
"I love who I am and the skin I'm in" I feel you strongly on that sir. The world keeps trying to tell us who we should be or what we should look like. I love who I am and the skin I'm in. And I also have symptoms of ADHD and might have it as well. I pray that whatever you discover on this journey encourages you and helps you to keep being who you are in this world.
Robert, thank you for having the courage to share your evolving story. You are not alone in your journey to figure out who you are. As you continue your journey of discovery, may you and your heart continue to find love and acceptance as the person God has made you to be. I believe your story is definitely worth fighting for, maybe not with armor and swords, but certainly with a lot of light and love! How does your heart feel after sharing your journey story? May you find acceptance, joy, love and lightness in the discoveries you make 🙏
Who knew that when holding up someone else’s mirror to my face, I could see so much of myself. Fearful suspicions of myself have strangled me for years. Even now, at times. But. I believe that I’m learning to relax into myself. “Different” has always been there. As I find more pieces of myself I’m relieved to realize that I wouldn’t have it any other way. I simply wouldn’t see the same. I wouldn’t love the same. I wouldn’t know what I know… anyway, thank you for writing this.
wow thank you for saying it this way. yes yes yes
You're amazing, Robert! Thank you for boldly and courageously sharing yourself here. I see you and love you. 🫶🏽
Wow thank you so much for reading and engaging 🙏🏾
This is an absolutely beautiful piece my guy. Thank you for the vulnerability and authenticity ✊🏽
As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I just want to say welcome, welcome, welcome! I am so thrilled to hear that you may be part of the neurodivergent community. Learning those things about myself was so transformative and helped me shed a lot of unnecessary burdens; I hope that it's similar for you.
💜
Thank you so much for sharing this, from a fellow possibly autistic/adhd neurodivergent that has felt forced to be high functioning for most of my life. I'm also considering getting a formal diagnosis, maybe once my three kiddos work through their own formal assessments and diagnoses. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability.
Dear Robert, it's 2025 and I am reading your post for the first time. I hope my comment finds you at a place in your journey that is within the zip code of acceptance and understanding of the traits you display that are collectively known as AuDHD.
When I look at your picture I see you as a socially unattractive black male. It's a reality that many people struggle to articulate. I am a socially unattractive black woman. My face offers me few privileges and it does not fuel the engine of capitalism. I accept that reality now. I will not sell magazines or encourage anyone to buy anything in this country. I will always be the before picture. Yet I am made in the image of God and have an unmatched beauty in his eyes. I am adored by Him and have come to understand and accept that beauty as well. I pray the same for you my brother. May you know your beauty.
Your words are a balm and your vulnerability a gift. Thank you ♥️