it's the little things

an india arie...I mean restful musing

Photo by Nadiia Ploshchenko 🇺🇦 on Unsplash

Been around the whole world

Still ain't seen nothing like my neighborhood

And of all of the fancy satin and silk

My white cotton feels so good

Searched high and low for a place

Where I can lay my burdens down

Ain't nothing in the whole wide world

Like the peace that I have found- India Arie

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“Robert are you about to reach into your musical interest bag to tell a story?”

Sure am.

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I despise toxic positivity. There’s too much of it flowing through the airwaves. You know the type that I’m talking about. Where you share how hard your day was and some positive soldier in the army of…stay focused Robert…tells you how grateful you should be, how blessed your life is. I hate it. For many reasons, but especially because the overwhelming need that people possess to turn every negative into a God-ordained positive is dehumanizing.

I started there, a bit awkwardly, so that I could properly engage what gratitude could be right now.¹ Recently, I was on a trip for work and after a long day, I decided to sit out near the pool. I sat, listening to this India Arie song. I find solace in her words. She tells a tale of what it is like to look around and see the simple, small, ordinary things. I shed a tear as I allowed her words to slow me down. The refrain “In the little things (in the little things) And the joy they bring” touched the part of me that rushes from one thing to another. The anxious portion of me that is so focused on days ahead that I am unable to perceive some of the beauty that fills my life.

Simple as a phone call just to make it known

That you're gonna be a little late

Pure as a kiss on the cheek and a word

That everything will be okay

Call in the morning from my little sister

Singing to me happy birthday

In the quest for fortune and fame

Don't forget about the simple things- India Arie

I don’t want to forget to remember, that yes, life is hard. Truly hard. Unbearable sometimes. And. I have little things. Beautiful things. Like. A text message that says “I miss you.” The books my friends send me when they are thinking of me. Enough food in my refrigerator. (I didn’t think that would ever happen.) I make people smile. I made it into my 40s...Because it didn’t seem that it would go that way. Books. That people miss me when I’m not around. That I love myself. And that’s a greater miracle than anyone will ever know.

Got everything that I prayed for

Even a little more

When I asked to learn humility

This is what I was told- India Arie

I wrote today because a spark of gratitude ignited in my heart. A gratitude that is well aware that it is privileged. That so many in the world don’t have access even to some of the smallest things that make me happy. A conflicted gratitude. And gratitude nonetheless. I hope you can observe some “little things” this week. I really hope you can.

And before we go, I want to leave you with words that mean so much to me. Over two decades ago, a friend told me “I love you on purpose.” It was the oddest thing to me. And he said it to all of his friends. These were early days in my journey towards divesting from toxic masculinity. It was weird to see how much he loved people. But. over time, the “on purpose” started to choke me up. It meant something to me for someone on the planet to love me “on purpose.” It made me feel like I was someone important and worth having around. I leave you with that nugget of my life because “I love you on purpose” is sacred to me.

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1. I say “right now” to indicate this particular time-period. This particular space in human history. With genocide. With bigotry on the rise. With misinformation. With “Both Sidesism” at all time, annoying highs. I’m writing today very cognizant that these days are particular.