I love cooking. Despite the common notion that cooking is reserved for certain traditional gender roles, I grew up intrigued by the kitchen. The kitchen as a site for inspiration and play. The kitchen as a source of agency. Though we were poor and had many meals that were…interesting…I knew what good cooking smelled like and tasted like. My family knew how to cook and some of their unwritten recipes passed down to me. I remember the way a good home cooked meal made me feel inside. As I grew, cooking took on many avenues of meaning.
*poem by Lucille Clifton
I don’t take being in the kitchen for granted. There is immense privilege in having food in my refrigerator. I often open my cabinets and shed tears, knowing that these are the days of my dreams coming true. Being in my small kitchen all alone liberates me. When I cook, I become entranced in almost a meditative state as my anxieties, fears, and tensions slowly fade away. This meditation comes with preparation though! I get comfortable in my cooking outfit. I usually turn on my vinyl player, or an audiobook, or a podcast and allow myself the gift of play. Dancing is a necessity as I make up recipes, combining ideas in my mind to shape something that I will find pleasant. *whispers*…Ya boy knows how to cook.
I cook when I feel lonely.
When I miss my family.
When I feel overwhelmed with life.
And so, when I feel all alone in this world, I cook meals that remind me of home. Meals that encourage my weary heart. Meals that remind me that I deserve to be loved and taken care of. Cooking isn’t just a chore for me…well I’m lying, sometimes it is. (Why do we have to eat every single day? It’s excessive) But. When I am most myself, cooking is where I find myself, where I find God, and where I remember those I love most.
“Do the work your soul must have.” Katie Cannon
Let that thang cook this week. I mean that. I know I’m a writer and a musician so this soliloquy on being in the kitchen might seem random. It isn’t. Well at least in my mind. And. If cooking is not your thing, if it is something that tires you out, use this imagery metaphorically. Find those activities that usher you into thoughtfulness and play and smiling until your face hurts. You deserve it.
Before I go…I want to remind you about my friend
new book. Ain’t this the most beautiful cover?
Okay now I'm hungry...
I do not love cooking, but my husband does (although he loves gardening more, so in this season of the year there's often plenty to eat but not much prepared!). Gender roles schmender roles. I love reading about what you love.
Impressive, Robert! 👍 Those meals look delicious and flavorful. Yum! 😋 I also enjoy cooking. I have several different sources I draw from. The internet is good for that! One I routinely come back to for comfort and nostalgia is Ree Drummond, *The Pioneer Woman*. 👩🍳