I was already weepy today, and I was holding back. Your words brought me to the place where I could let my tears fall.
I again say how dare you (because why are you always taking me down the paths I don't want to go on?!) and thank you (especially for being there with me).
I didn’t realize how much I needed this until I got to the end. I remember a few years ago, I realized that the root of a lot of my stress, anxiety, anger, depression was grief in acknowledged. When I imagined my life, there are realities that are misaligned with the hopes and dreams I had, and while I have a beautiful life and family there are still disappointments of 20 year old me that haven’t been acknowledged. When I started to share this with someone close, they quickly shifted to pushing me to feel gratitude-- so this sadness and disappointment keeps lurking.
Thanks for giving me the permission to grieve that I didn’t even know I needed.
Yes--I think we as humans don’t know what to do with grief when it presents itself. I’ve tried to be more mindful to not rush to soothe someone’s grief, but to try to hold space as best I can.
Thank you for these beautiful reflections on grief! Over the past few years I've come to see grieving as a life skill. Life is full of so many layers of losses, and I think one of the kindest things we can do, for ourselves and each other, is learn how to honor and hold space for those losses.
This article came at such a pivotal time for me my grandfather passed last week and its the first time anyone I'm close to has left me. I'm so unfamiliar with this kind of grief that I felt like I was reacting the wrong way but this article really made it clear to me, especially the line "Greif IS for the faint of heart", that my feelings are perfectly normal. Thank you for sharing this article. God bless
"My rage poured out as I remembered that I wasn't supposed to be alone..." This hit me hard. I've never entertained that this is where the anger and rage I feel inside (but have been successfully containing thus far) is coming from. Thank you for sharing this as it gives me some very important homework for myself.
You know my position: grief is love with no where to go! I know, I ran from grief for decades, and I also know, one can only run as far… at some point one is going to either hit or kiss that brick wall (hitting it is more painful than allowing oneself to simply grieve).
Beautiful piece, Robert. I'll be stirring on your questions. "Where does pain still reside in your soul and body? How can you give voice to those things that ache?" Thank you so much for sharing. Coincidentally, I just wrote on the topic of grief, too. It seems a lot of us have, which says a lot about the beat we all ought to take to study "where pain still resides."
I whole heartedly agree with this! A friend and I discussed in depth if (I’m a teacher) if children learn to control emotions as they get older or if they’re taught to suppress them?
I’d like to note to griefs you didn’t list, albeit there are even more; chronic illness (read a cracking piece I'll share) and infertility (I personally write a bit about this).
So much I could say as I so enjoyed this, but I'll leave if for now. Hugs to you and your inner child 💚
Robert, this really moved me. i appreciate your open hearted post this sunday, all of this and the furious dancing is needed as we learn how to befriend ourselves and emotions 🤍
"Grief IS for the faint of heart." Ah, Robert. You dancing your questions and rage is relatable and raw.
May love see you through. May love see us through.
Phew friend. Phew
I was already weepy today, and I was holding back. Your words brought me to the place where I could let my tears fall.
I again say how dare you (because why are you always taking me down the paths I don't want to go on?!) and thank you (especially for being there with me).
Let it all out friend. Well as much as you can withstand 🫂
So moved by this. Grief opens your heart. It changes you. It is meant to be lived, not buried. Thank you, Robert, for this beautiful piece.
“It is meant to be lived not buried” yes!
I didn’t realize how much I needed this until I got to the end. I remember a few years ago, I realized that the root of a lot of my stress, anxiety, anger, depression was grief in acknowledged. When I imagined my life, there are realities that are misaligned with the hopes and dreams I had, and while I have a beautiful life and family there are still disappointments of 20 year old me that haven’t been acknowledged. When I started to share this with someone close, they quickly shifted to pushing me to feel gratitude-- so this sadness and disappointment keeps lurking.
Thanks for giving me the permission to grieve that I didn’t even know I needed.
Whew for some reason I’m just seeing this and resonating with so much of your words and story
So touched by this, Wellyna. There’s such a pressure to issue a blanket forgiveness, to move on. Hugs.
Yes--I think we as humans don’t know what to do with grief when it presents itself. I’ve tried to be more mindful to not rush to soothe someone’s grief, but to try to hold space as best I can.
"We can grieve many things, not just people."
Just sitting with these words today.
So many griefs
Thank you for these beautiful reflections on grief! Over the past few years I've come to see grieving as a life skill. Life is full of so many layers of losses, and I think one of the kindest things we can do, for ourselves and each other, is learn how to honor and hold space for those losses.
This was beautifully said
This article came at such a pivotal time for me my grandfather passed last week and its the first time anyone I'm close to has left me. I'm so unfamiliar with this kind of grief that I felt like I was reacting the wrong way but this article really made it clear to me, especially the line "Greif IS for the faint of heart", that my feelings are perfectly normal. Thank you for sharing this article. God bless
I am so sorry for your loss. 😞 I’m glad my words could help in some way
"Perhaps that exhausting you've been feeling is grief with nowhere to go"
WAITWHATJKEALJ:DSKLFGJSA:GDfj;z
Phew ♥️
"My rage poured out as I remembered that I wasn't supposed to be alone..." This hit me hard. I've never entertained that this is where the anger and rage I feel inside (but have been successfully containing thus far) is coming from. Thank you for sharing this as it gives me some very important homework for myself.
Wow thank you for sharing this. Our rage and grief need outlets
You know my position: grief is love with no where to go! I know, I ran from grief for decades, and I also know, one can only run as far… at some point one is going to either hit or kiss that brick wall (hitting it is more painful than allowing oneself to simply grieve).
Beautiful piece, Robert. I'll be stirring on your questions. "Where does pain still reside in your soul and body? How can you give voice to those things that ache?" Thank you so much for sharing. Coincidentally, I just wrote on the topic of grief, too. It seems a lot of us have, which says a lot about the beat we all ought to take to study "where pain still resides."
Yeah grief is in the air phew 😮💨
I whole heartedly agree with this! A friend and I discussed in depth if (I’m a teacher) if children learn to control emotions as they get older or if they’re taught to suppress them?
I’d like to note to griefs you didn’t list, albeit there are even more; chronic illness (read a cracking piece I'll share) and infertility (I personally write a bit about this).
So much I could say as I so enjoyed this, but I'll leave if for now. Hugs to you and your inner child 💚
Ooh thank you for sharing these thoughts with me
Thank you for writing ✍️
I think, if you’ve not already, might like this read: https://open.substack.com/pub/griefsick/p/5-chronically-ill-people-live-in?r=2uqaml&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
-grief with nowhere to go…
Brother, it hit me like a boulder. Phew. Thanks for sharing.
♥️
Thank you so much for your words, Robert, and thank you for the link to that Nova Reid essay. That spoke directly to my heart.
Whew Nova’s essay is still sitting with me
Robert, this really moved me. i appreciate your open hearted post this sunday, all of this and the furious dancing is needed as we learn how to befriend ourselves and emotions 🤍
I so appreciate your words and engaging. Being vulnerable is a work
"Grief is for those who love." Indubitably.
It sure is