Yes, overextended. In a long season of caring for aging parents, trying to finish school, a new ministry of counseling. Some things I don’t feel I can’t say no to. Finding the space for things that refresh-this is my challenge. I appreciate your words. They’re causing me to ponder and pray this Sunday morning. Thank you.
People always say “Check on your Strong Friends”, but no one seems to recognize that they only say this AFTER the ‘Strong’ friend has weakened to the point of exhaustion or death. They don’t notice that even checking on that friend is an afterthought. I don’t blame them but I kind of do.
I don’t mind being the ‘strong’ friend. The nurturer. The counselor. The sounding board. But at some point in time there needs to be reciprocity. Pour into me. Help me.
When I let the takers go their own way, it helped a lot.
Whew I absolutely agree with you. That phrase irks me because 1. People don't be checking and 2. People don't be checking lol. Our strength shouldn't mean that we don't get love and care.
It is an elusive line… where we step from uplifted by our giver/supporter/comforter role into the overextended abyss. thank you, Robert, for voicing this walk that many of us take.
Oof. Wow. This really, really hit home. You've exactly described the arc of my own experience over the last few years, and I really need to sit with your difficult and necessary words a while and let them sink in.
Whew! As a caregiver, this was too timely. I was grateful to see some of my extended family this weekend for the first time in a couple of years. But that night and the next day, which was yesterday, I was exhausted. What you said about your father was so profound. Thanks for the reminder and thanks for sharing.
All of this! - "My overextension was exacerbated by the ways in which people tend to rely on me for comfort, support, and advice. It can be difficult for people to see that the givers need to be attended to, and that they aren’t a constant fountain of stuff." And heavy on the "constant fountain of stuff."
Yes, overextended. In a long season of caring for aging parents, trying to finish school, a new ministry of counseling. Some things I don’t feel I can’t say no to. Finding the space for things that refresh-this is my challenge. I appreciate your words. They’re causing me to ponder and pray this Sunday morning. Thank you.
I’m glad my words can be helpful to you.
People always say “Check on your Strong Friends”, but no one seems to recognize that they only say this AFTER the ‘Strong’ friend has weakened to the point of exhaustion or death. They don’t notice that even checking on that friend is an afterthought. I don’t blame them but I kind of do.
I don’t mind being the ‘strong’ friend. The nurturer. The counselor. The sounding board. But at some point in time there needs to be reciprocity. Pour into me. Help me.
When I let the takers go their own way, it helped a lot.
Whew I absolutely agree with you. That phrase irks me because 1. People don't be checking and 2. People don't be checking lol. Our strength shouldn't mean that we don't get love and care.
This was felt on so many levels, thank you for sharing. And God knows adding that extra touch of hope must’ve taken everything in you.
aww thank you so much for these words
I hope you receive the physical and spiritual rest you desire this Summer. 🙏
It is an elusive line… where we step from uplifted by our giver/supporter/comforter role into the overextended abyss. thank you, Robert, for voicing this walk that many of us take.
You’re so right. That line is sometimes so blurry for me
Oof. Wow. This really, really hit home. You've exactly described the arc of my own experience over the last few years, and I really need to sit with your difficult and necessary words a while and let them sink in.
Thank you.
Wishing you peace.
wow I hear you. I’m sorry you’re in this position and wish you peace as well.
Whew! As a caregiver, this was too timely. I was grateful to see some of my extended family this weekend for the first time in a couple of years. But that night and the next day, which was yesterday, I was exhausted. What you said about your father was so profound. Thanks for the reminder and thanks for sharing.
Thank you for reading. And I pray as a caregiver that you are given avenues of refreshing too.
You're welcome. Thanks so much! 🤗
as a social worker and caregiver, i can offer that saying 'no' is the craft to work on.
All of this! - "My overextension was exacerbated by the ways in which people tend to rely on me for comfort, support, and advice. It can be difficult for people to see that the givers need to be attended to, and that they aren’t a constant fountain of stuff." And heavy on the "constant fountain of stuff."
oppressors of all kinds