Made me think of a line from Dia Becker’s latest piece: “Anything that consumes you will not spare your health.” I’m so over burnout. The grind is not worth it.
Last week, I took an Enneagram test for work and it said I was most likely a 9 (the peacemaker). Years ago when I took the test, I got type 3 (the achiever). I’m glad we’re learning rest and peace can be an aspiration, something we begin to embody.
This touched my heart is such a profound way! I’ve been mediating a lot on the function of laughter as a coping mechanism for the human condition, so when you said you want to giggle at least 3 times a day, it just warmed my heart. Thank you so much for sharing 🥹🙏🏾
Robert, I *thought* I replied to this earlier but maybe it didn't save, so pardon me if there are duplicate comments and feel free to delete one.
This week we ordered pizza and my autistic son Jonathan came to the door to greet the delivery guy and tell him he was doing a good job. The guy commented, "I think he has a beautiful life -- so happy, nothing is wrong." This made a deep impression on me and I wrote about it in my own Substack post (even incorporating the idea of limits!). Our society is not set up to encourage this kind of life so I think you and Jonathan (and the pizza guy too maybe!) are co-conspirators in helping dismantle a lot of unhealthy ideas and practices. Thank you for this beautiful post.
Insightful musings on ambition. 🤔 I think despite all of the modern technological advances we've achieved throughout history, humanity itself has not evolved as far as we'd like to believe; as evidenced by our current national and global conflicts. Greed, pursuit of power, and domination are primal urges. I think humans should strive to evolve beyond those primal urges to cooperation, sharing of resources, and peace. I want to do my part in advancing humanity as a whole. That sounds lofty and ambitious! And, I've come to accept, probably not achievable in my lifetime. So I'm scaling back to smaller goals of trying to live as authentically and compassionately as I can without being a doormat. Finding that balance is difficult! 😮💨
I've been mulling through this lately, too. As a woman steeped in the Evangelical tradition, I never actually *wanted* to be at the head of anything, or to be in a position where I needed to make a lot of money. But then I didn't follow the traditional evangelical-woman trajectory (I didn't even get married until the cusp of 40), and I *didn't* make money and was pretty hand to mouth for a long time, which is exhausting. Now I'm a pastor and I've founded a small online community, and it's weird, because I think I have been given some gifts in these areas, but not in the areas of achieving "more" (more money, more people, more eyes on the writing or art or program), and it's really hard to parcel out how much more is actually necessary, and what part I myself need to play in it, and what really just isn't. And you're right. Ego is this whole thing. (I mention this briefly in a different way in my art spotlight post from last Friday.)
Part of what I appreciate most about your posts, Robert, is the gentle reality check, and the inspiring example you set. Thank you.
Such a good list of things to want. I will steal a couple <3
Personally I want that little bun with raisins from the store and the 7 minute walk in the relative Copenhagen sun to get it. Thank you for influencing my morning for the better!
I’m kind of struggling with this right now. I’m working fifty+ hours a week, and have been for months, but not by choice (I naively accepted mandatory overtime as a condition on my hiring 😑). I’ve decided to learn how to go into business for myself with my art, but doing so in the margins of my schedule doesn’t leave much room for play time. My husband tells me to take my time, have fun with it, and relax. I feel like if I do that though, I’ll be dead before I escape my current predicament. Finding the right balance of progress towards my goal and taking care of my mental and physical health along the way is quite difficult.
I want to continue to learn how to grow plants and tend to the earth. I too want to spend ample, quality time with the people I love. I want to read books that expand my world. And I want to build a life that feels beautiful and sustainable even in the midst of chronic illness and disability.
This piece is a reminder of a promise I made to myself this time last year. The work. I allows me to get paid while trying to make the world a better place. Last year I promised myself I would not get so wrapped up in titles, projects and hero complexes that I forgot to live in the world. Thank you for this reminder
This was on point my friend. My twenties were wrecked by the residual effects of pursuing my goals more rigorously than I pursued my mental and emotional well being. I'm thankful I discovered another way of being before I lost more.
Made me think of a line from Dia Becker’s latest piece: “Anything that consumes you will not spare your health.” I’m so over burnout. The grind is not worth it.
Last week, I took an Enneagram test for work and it said I was most likely a 9 (the peacemaker). Years ago when I took the test, I got type 3 (the achiever). I’m glad we’re learning rest and peace can be an aspiration, something we begin to embody.
This touched my heart is such a profound way! I’ve been mediating a lot on the function of laughter as a coping mechanism for the human condition, so when you said you want to giggle at least 3 times a day, it just warmed my heart. Thank you so much for sharing 🥹🙏🏾
Very important reminders. Comfort and contentment and community - that's real success.
Robert, I *thought* I replied to this earlier but maybe it didn't save, so pardon me if there are duplicate comments and feel free to delete one.
This week we ordered pizza and my autistic son Jonathan came to the door to greet the delivery guy and tell him he was doing a good job. The guy commented, "I think he has a beautiful life -- so happy, nothing is wrong." This made a deep impression on me and I wrote about it in my own Substack post (even incorporating the idea of limits!). Our society is not set up to encourage this kind of life so I think you and Jonathan (and the pizza guy too maybe!) are co-conspirators in helping dismantle a lot of unhealthy ideas and practices. Thank you for this beautiful post.
Insightful musings on ambition. 🤔 I think despite all of the modern technological advances we've achieved throughout history, humanity itself has not evolved as far as we'd like to believe; as evidenced by our current national and global conflicts. Greed, pursuit of power, and domination are primal urges. I think humans should strive to evolve beyond those primal urges to cooperation, sharing of resources, and peace. I want to do my part in advancing humanity as a whole. That sounds lofty and ambitious! And, I've come to accept, probably not achievable in my lifetime. So I'm scaling back to smaller goals of trying to live as authentically and compassionately as I can without being a doormat. Finding that balance is difficult! 😮💨
I've been mulling through this lately, too. As a woman steeped in the Evangelical tradition, I never actually *wanted* to be at the head of anything, or to be in a position where I needed to make a lot of money. But then I didn't follow the traditional evangelical-woman trajectory (I didn't even get married until the cusp of 40), and I *didn't* make money and was pretty hand to mouth for a long time, which is exhausting. Now I'm a pastor and I've founded a small online community, and it's weird, because I think I have been given some gifts in these areas, but not in the areas of achieving "more" (more money, more people, more eyes on the writing or art or program), and it's really hard to parcel out how much more is actually necessary, and what part I myself need to play in it, and what really just isn't. And you're right. Ego is this whole thing. (I mention this briefly in a different way in my art spotlight post from last Friday.)
Part of what I appreciate most about your posts, Robert, is the gentle reality check, and the inspiring example you set. Thank you.
Such a good list of things to want. I will steal a couple <3
Personally I want that little bun with raisins from the store and the 7 minute walk in the relative Copenhagen sun to get it. Thank you for influencing my morning for the better!
I’m kind of struggling with this right now. I’m working fifty+ hours a week, and have been for months, but not by choice (I naively accepted mandatory overtime as a condition on my hiring 😑). I’ve decided to learn how to go into business for myself with my art, but doing so in the margins of my schedule doesn’t leave much room for play time. My husband tells me to take my time, have fun with it, and relax. I feel like if I do that though, I’ll be dead before I escape my current predicament. Finding the right balance of progress towards my goal and taking care of my mental and physical health along the way is quite difficult.
I want to continue to learn how to grow plants and tend to the earth. I too want to spend ample, quality time with the people I love. I want to read books that expand my world. And I want to build a life that feels beautiful and sustainable even in the midst of chronic illness and disability.
This piece is a reminder of a promise I made to myself this time last year. The work. I allows me to get paid while trying to make the world a better place. Last year I promised myself I would not get so wrapped up in titles, projects and hero complexes that I forgot to live in the world. Thank you for this reminder
This was on point my friend. My twenties were wrecked by the residual effects of pursuing my goals more rigorously than I pursued my mental and emotional well being. I'm thankful I discovered another way of being before I lost more.
mmm pancakes